


48. I love you

by DarchangelSkye



Series: (much less than) 100 kinks - Joshler edition [11]
Category: Bandom, Music RPF, Real Person Fiction, Rock Music RPF, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Couch Sex, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Love, Porn with Feelings, Present Tense, Wordcount: 1.000-3.000, early era, this is awkward I'm so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 23:26:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15651090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarchangelSkye/pseuds/DarchangelSkye
Summary: He's seen plenty of sides to the young man in their past months of being friends/bandmates/hookups. He's seen Tyler exhausted to the point of silent tears. He's seen Tyler run around stages, no matter how small, high on energy like he's a contained package of lightning. He's seen Tyler scribbling in one notebook after another, pages after pages of poetry and chord progressions and symbolic doodles. He's seen Tyler smile and laugh with all the goodness of the world, and seen him swept under currents of despair he tries his best to soothe with gentle words.He's seen the slow rhythm of Tyler's chest rising and falling in his sleep, seen the line of pale birthmarks above his thigh, and seen the crease in his brow before he comes. And every detail is fascinating.





	48. I love you

Tyler's touch has become a pleasant familiarity at this point. Not that they don't spark amazing sensations over his skin like new touches do anymore, but he's comfortable with them in the best way, welcomes their presence. Which is why Josh is more than a little confused when lips suddenly leave his neck and hands pull away from his bare hips. The cloud of pleasure his brain's been fogged in up to now cuts away and tumbles him back to earth with a sudden thud.

"Ty?-"

Tyler has scooted to the other other end of the scratchy, old basement sofa, arms loosely wrapped around himself, and is gazing at the carpet like its 80s brown-and-beige pattern is a lot more interesting than either the late-night show playing on the old TV or the makeout session that was just happening. He looks so...small.

Josh tilts his head to look at the withdrawn, melancholy profile of his friend. He hadn't been doing anything wrong, had he-? "Y'okay, man?"

_Shrug._

OK, looks like he's not in the mood anymore. No big deal. Josh retrieves his discarded tee from the back of the sofa and pulls it back on over his head, while Tyler just stays where he is and makes no move to rebutton his half-undone shirt.

Soon enough Tyler sighs and has his face in his hands, nothing Josh hasn't seen before. He's seen plenty of sides to the young man in their past months of being friends/bandmates/hookups. He's seen Tyler exhausted to the point of silent tears. He's seen Tyler run around stages, no matter how small, high on energy like he's a contained package of lightning. He's seen Tyler scribbling in one notebook after another, pages after pages of poetry and chord progressions and symbolic doodles. He's seen Tyler smile and laugh with all the goodness of the world, and seen him swept under currents of despair he tries his best to soothe with gentle words.

He's seen the slow rhythm of Tyler's chest rising and falling in his sleep, seen the line of pale birthmarks above his thigh, and seen the crease in his brow before he comes. And every detail is fascinating.

Josh tries again to ask. "Somethin' wrong?"

One long and deep breath, another, then a third, before Tyler puts his hands down and turns so they're eye to eye again. It's either the dim light in the basement or his large brown eyes are wet.

"You'd probably laugh," he starts, his tone a low drawl. "I'd get it if you were mad, but I can't take you laughing."

Josh actually feels his heart break a little. "Why would I do that?" Whatever's going on, if this is a new wave of sadness, he wants to do what he can for his friend to feel better.

 _Sigh._ "You promise you're not gonna laugh?"

Josh crosses over his heart and scoots closer, slipping a cautious arm around Tyler's shoulder. He doesn't move away, so that's a start, he supposes.

"You're too amazing to laugh at, Ty. Just tell me what it is."

There's a brief glimmer in those dark eyes he wants to take as hope. Tyler gives another long breath before he finally talks.

"I don't always feel that amazing, but...with everything that's happened in a short time, things are actually looking up a little."

"Like with the band?" Josh gently offers. He remembers the first subdued whisper of _Arenas,_ no matter how far off that is in the future.

"Yeah..." Tyler drags a slow hand over his face. "Even if...we...what we're..."

Oh no. Here comes the blow. Josh steels his heart and shuts his eyes-

The rest comes spilling out. "If we're not screwing anything up 'cause I keep thinking I might be falling in love with you a little and that scares the hell out of me because I don't know if you're just going along 'cause it's easy or you feel sorry for me or something and it's way too soon to feel that and I'm going crazy or-"

-and his eyes snap open again. That's...definitely not what he expects to hear. But right now it sounds like Tyler's talking himself into a panic attack and that's gotta be headed off at the pass. Josh grips at piano hands to get his attention and the babbling cuts off instantly. 

Tyler's face is flushed a familiar pink, and even in the midst of...whatever the heck's going on right now, it's really adorable. And at least he's not trying to flail out of Josh's hold.

"Ty, listen to me, okay? Can you hear me?"

Slow nod. OK, he's listening, it's a start. Josh takes a deep breath of his own. He is so not the best at words, that's Tyler's department all the way, but his words really have to count now.

" _I_ think you're amazing, even if you don't always, and no, I'm not just feeling sorry for you." He lets that hang in the air while Tyler's blinking in processing, like he's coming out of the darkness and seeing his future on the other side.

"So...you're actually enjoying-"

"Yeah, that too." And god, that feels so good to say, but there's so much more than that, and Tyler really deserves to hear it. Josh carefully lets his hands go and runs slow fingertips over his hair, cut really short right now so it's a pleasant scratch. "I'm really glad I met you, man. I mean, that first night we were talking for hours about everything and we just clicked? That was like one of the best nights of my life."

Tyler's lips are relaxing into that little shape that's almost a smile- Josh likes to think that's from the reassuring words as much as the hair pets. "Yeah?"

"Uh-huh." His thumb strokes slowly along Tyler's hairline. He's a bundle of anxiety, and more often than not that's going to be a curse instead of a blessing, but hiding these strange and wonderful feelings seems so dishonest, especially when Tyler's made some kind of effort...

"What you said about things looking up? I've been feeling that too, like even with stuff not about the band or us. There's always something to feel good about." Love isn't a cure, Josh isn't that naive, but oh how it makes the world beautiful. He'll take real happiness over the fake induced stuff any day. "And I want everyone to be happy, 'specially the people I care about." _And that means you, too,_ is the great unspoken.

Tyler's next question after a long moment of pondering (Josh can practically see the wheels turning behind his dark eyes) is also unexpected, but doesn't fill him with a sense of dread. "Why does it still feel scary?" he asks with a soft innocence.

Josh risks the move of both arms encircling in a comforting hug, and while it's not returned just yet, at least Tyler isn't moving away. "New feelings usually are," he says carefully. Hell, he's been nervous about so many things himself even before this...love, yet they've worked out, right? His anxiety isn't always rational. He presses his cheek against his friend's hair, a familiar scratch on his skin. "But I'd say it's pretty brave to open yourself up and trust someone, yeah?" Please, universe, let him be making sense in this hurricane of feelings, let his words come through.

"Uh huh..." Thank goodness, Tyler understands. They'll learn understanding each other matters above all else. "So...it's okay?"

"More than okay." A sweet peck on Tyler's forehead and a sigh of relief. He doesn't worry about the saying that making a lover out of a friend means you lose a friend. Their connection is too close for such a loss, too full of that needed trust. They _get_ each other. They're fine. They can work through this bit by bit like everything else.

Tyler curls himself back in and it's the sweetest thing and Josh just _loves_ it and they can actually use _that_ word now and his heart feels like it could burst- "Well, this won't do," Tyler's voice lilts and he moves to peel away Josh's tee again, but the move is now smooth and deliberate, like this new realization of feelings allows for tenderness. And it's so welcome. 

Josh undoes the rest of his friend's shirt buttons and pulls him close to be lying atop, sweetly bumping their noses together with a kiss. The sofa isn't the most romantic place in the world, but the company far outweighs the setting.

The pair resumes their making-out session, and to Josh it feels like one of the longest and most delicious ever. There's never a pause of more than a few seconds to breathe, and even then their lips are still touching by the softest outer layer of skin. The connection between the young men has become that strong.

"Josh..." Tyler's pleading whisper caresses his skin and he nods in permission. They're on the same wavelength now. All these feelings are wanted.

Tyler's hands start slowly traveling around his skin, as opposed to just yanking off his skinny jeans right away. Every so often Josh makes a high and light noise to a particular touch, and he feels like Tyler is playing him like an instrument and it's endearing and sexy all at once.

"Mmm..." Soft and full lips latch to the hollow of his neck, and he squirms pleasantly at the touch and his toes curl. His mind has fogged over again, oh yeah, he really wants all of this, needs all of this.

"Ty...Ty," comes out in a ragged whisper, and Josh glides his hands down slender back muscles not yet sweat-slicked. Just a little more...

"Right here," Tyler mumbles and traces a deft finger over his stomach before digging into his jeans pocket for what they need. Of course they don't have sex every time, and Josh doesn't expect that happening even if their relationship has just leveled up, but it never hurts to be prepared. And going by the grin on Tyler's face he appreciates the gesture, too.

"That...smile...death of me," Josh rasps in something a bit deeper than lust as his hands scramble to get their jeans off.

"Not as much as yours." Tyler helps with pushing the material away, and they breathe in relief at being unconstrained. "We're gonna be so lovey-dovey with the compliments now, huh?"

"I don't mind if you don't." Josh sets his hands on the sides of Tyler's ribcage, imagining feeling blood rush through those veins under his fingers from excitement.  
The familiar sounds of ragged breaths and Tyler prepping himself fill the air for a moment and Josh is using all his willpower to keep his cool. Not desperate...don't have to worry about that now...

Once Tyler has the rubber properly slicked up, he gently presses the heel of his palm against Josh's temple and fingers stroke at curly hair. It's an unusual pressure but Josh relishes in it, in Tyler's strength. He's really strong when he needs to be. 

"Ready?" The warm breath of Tyler's question ghosts over his skin and he nods again. Even if they've done it before, a new barrier between them is about to break down, one of unquestioned love. Oh yes, they're both ready.

Josh sighs at the smooth entrance and is answered with a tender kiss. He tries remembering if they've moved this slowly before, but sensible thoughts are cut off when Tyler murmurs "I love when you make that noise," and starts moving his hips as gently as lapping waters.

Breathing, heartbeats, kisses, grunts, moans, sighs, the occasional whispered encouragement or endearment passes back and forth between the young men. Every movement sets off a little spark within Josh that he can't help reacting with his noises, even as muffled as they sound to him through his fog of desire. At one point he even burrows his face in the crook of Tyler's neck that is now damp with sweat from the exertion. Their difference in height wouldn't seem that significant to an outsider, but at this moment Josh wants to feel wrapped in security. Oh god, he's fallen deep.

"Babe...so good..." Fingers rake through his hair, and even the nerves of his scalp feel so electrified he vocalizes to that. If Tyler loves his noises then by god he's going to make them.

Tyler's hips press deep with a low growl, and when Josh draws back to look at that incredible face, he sees eyes clenched shut, bottom lip bit, even sees that crease in the brow. Still fascinating.

Just before Josh feels himself floating away on a cloud of bliss, even lighter and sweeter than a fog, when he cups Tyler's face and tames the bitten lip with a kiss, he hears _"love..."_ in his voice, spoken aloud or not he's not sure, but it's the beautiful truth and as sweet as any song he's ever known.


End file.
